In 2019, I found myself standing in the middle of my own life, wondering how in the hell I got here and where I was going now. This is my midlife story. Allow me to paint the picture for you…

My husband was recently retired from a 31 year career in the military and the transition opened up a chasm in his life. One of my 5 children had decided, in her late 20’s, that she found her parents… subpar (understatement of the century). The anchors in my life, my grandparents, were recently diagnosed with Alzheimers and moved out of the only real home I had ever known and my family was reeling. I was face to face with the realities of unhealed wounds within my family of origin and felt abandoned, uncared for, and was grieving the loss of the connections I had believed were real but, in actuality, were gangrenous ulcers beneath a bandage of substance abuse and mental illness. My photography business was in transition and I was questioning my abilities and fearing the future. I had gained over 70 pounds. I was drinking too much wine. And we were freshly empty nesting. I was unprepared for the deafening silence that was left when our children grew up and left the nest I had so carefully, lovingly built and tended for over 25 years.

I looked around and I couldn’t recognize my own life. I felt untethered… and more alone as each day passed. There was a chasm growing between Bill & I and I felt powerless to close the gap.

“Hello, Midlife!”

This was the tipping point of my life. It took me to the edge of myself. I made catostrophic decisions, crumbled beneath the choices of those that I loved, and came close to losing my marriage & my life. Oh… and how about topping it off with a global pandemic?! I felt like I was at a crossroads that I was ill-prepared for and the trail markers were all worn off. I was in uncharted territory and I had to figure it out or I may not make it back.

Is this the moment you are feeling so uplifted by my midlife story that you are wishing you were doing anything other than reading this post?! I feel you… believe me!

During the painful months that followed, I came to realize that the experience I was having was not unfamiliar to many of my peers. Every time I turned around, someone was sharing the chaos they were experiencing in midlife; losing parents, estranged adult children, financial worries, health concerns, hormone changes, a crippling disappointment in where they found themselves, marriages dissolving, careers pivoting, pre-retirement fears, loss of identity, struggling to launch young adult children, shifting roles, and the list goes on.

I was flying home to Alaska after photographing a wedding in Colorado, listening to one of my favorite playlists on Spotify, when I felt like I received an awakening from ‘the Universe’, ‘God’, or as I prefer, ‘Spirit’. I had a vision of a relationship coaching path to help others navigating this season of life. I had been working with a counselor and was realizing some sobering, powerful things about myself, my life, my marriage… and I was acutely aware that I wasn’t alone on this journey. Thus began my 4 year journey to today… to retiring from my 20+ year career as a professional photographer… to restoring my brokenness… to working alongside my true companion to transform our 35 year marriage… and now to launching Rooted & Risen Coaching.

I am so honored that you have taken the time to share this chapter of my midlife story and that you didn’t run screaming from my blog seeking anti-depressants. 🙂 Rather, you chose to stand beside me in my experience, even though it wasn’t comfortable. That is what I am called to do for others… for you… for couples in midlife.

It is my calling to help couples reconnect & thrive in the magical, MESSY middle of LIFE and LOVE. I hope you will come back and take the journey with me. You can also join me on my Facebook or Instagram! If you haven’t already, go check out my website for all things Rooted & Risen! I look forward to getting to know one another.